Azure Spiderwebs
by Asakami
Summary: "But I can't stand looking at you. I want to kill you." Lightning/Vanille. AU. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: Applied.  
Warning: Slight OOC on Lightning's part. This might also depress/confuse the FUCK out of you guys. **

**A/N: Inspired by the story behind Quelaag and her sisters from **_**Dark Souls…**_** also, a bit of Lightning's character was inspired by Garl Vinland from **_**Demon's Souls **_**(just a tiny bit!). Hm, then I guess I should add that I own nothing from **_**From Software **_**as well.  
Btw, this was completely random. I was so stuck with writing **_**Starless**_** that I decided to write this. _In one night_. I apologize beforehand if anything/everything makes no sense. **

* * *

_**azure  
spider  
webs**_

* * *

Five millennia.

Or was it seven?

Didn't matter.

However long did not matter.

However long she _served_ them.

It did not matter.

…

Many years ago, she was beautiful.

Young, loud, so full of colours.

Now?

Well,

(Lightning kicked the corpses out of her way.)

She was still young.

But she was ugly.

Pale white skin.

Snowy white hair.

Grey eyes.

Day by day,

(Lightning kicked away the corpses.

They were in her way.)

She was getting more and more hideous, disgusting.

She was no longer _divine. _

She was no longer the same.

(But then under those bodies,

she found flowers.

Bright, yellow flowers.)

Colourless.

All because of those stupid humans.

Filthy creatures.

**.**

**.**

Filthy, filthy creatures.

They begged to the gods for help, yet they would be unwilling to offer aid when the gods required it. The sick, the old, the weak, the dying… they all went to _her_ for help, and they did not give _her _anything in return.

Such selfish, pathetic creatures.

If asked, Lightning would be more than willing to kill these parasites. The fewer their numbers, the less trouble for her goddess. Her goddess, who was always working so hard for these selfish, pathetic creatures.

But no, she was not allowed to do such a thing. Her goddess loved them; she cared for all of them. Every sick person who went to her would automatically be cured of their pain. Those people who recovered then thanked her, but that was all. Just a simple form of gratitude through words, and then they were gone. None of them even _cared _that the plague, the poison, and the pus sucked out of their bodies would be trapped forever in the goddess; none of them even _thought _of the harm it would bring her, none even considered the fact that slowly, her divine body would deteriorate.

Yes, none of them cared that the gods weren't immortal. That was why they kept going to them. And that was why there was only one left in this world. _She_ was the only one left.

**.**

**.**

The pink-haired guardian stared at it in awe.

Flowers. Here, of all places? Flowers, in this wasteland?

She knelt down and grazed her fingers lightly across the petals.

Then, Lightning decided.

_She_ would like this.

So, holding the delicate flower in hand, Lightning made her way back to the castle, where her goddess resided.

**.**

**.**

A figure moved at the corner of her eyes. Lightning shot her head at the movement, prepared to summon her weapon to kill.

Though, the figure was but a small little girl, not more than three years old.

It took a moment, but the guardian finally relaxed.

And the little girl was brave enough to move again. _Yes, _despite those piercing, icy-cold eyes of the tall woman, she was even brave enough to _move. _Perhaps she didn't know the meaning of fear?

Lightning watched wordlessly. The child was holding a bundle of the same, yellow flowers that she picked earlier.

Leaving the motionless stranger alone for now, the girl went back to minding her own business. She made her way towards what appeared to be (were) humans, and placed the bundle of flowers neatly onto the corpses' stomach. She even took the time to sort them out – albeit clumsily – so that each body would get about the same number.

The woman continued to watch in curiosity and silence. From this distance, it seemed that the girl was fairly lax, almost as if she did not realize that those bodies were dead. Perhaps she did not even know the definition of death itself – maybe she was thinking that they were asleep.

_Paying respects, huh?_

The little redhead stood up. She brushed her skirt in place and turned around – and the stranger from before caught her attention again. She was all but curious – after all, it wasn't common for women to wear armour. Actually, it wasn't common at all for healthy people to exist in this wretched place. The desperate, the sick, and the dead were all that was left.

Her naivety getting the better of her, the little girl made her way to the stranger with a delicate smile – but not before picking up a single flower from the bundles she laid down earlier.

Lightning kept her face straight. There was no point in showing reaction. These creatures weren't worth her time.

The girl clasped her hands behind herself and stood there shyly, as if waiting for the older person to do something.

But Lightning was still. She observed the girl, now that they were so close. Odd as it was, this girl was perfectly healthy. No signs of the sickness, nor did she look like she was suffering from malnutrition. She was… normal. Bright, orange-red hair held up in pigtails, a pair of clear, dazzling green eyes that fit so _perfectly _with that beaming smile… she almost reminded her of—

The girl blinked, and the aforementioned green crystals nearly _sparkled _innocence in substance-form. Lightning could swear.

(She

could

swear)

**She recognized that look. **

**.**

**.**

As she walked, the soles of her armoured-leggings created glassy sounds that bounced off the ceilings of the large hall. It was kind of ironic; this giant, colossal building was once filled with many, many divine beings. The large, strong, white-marble pillars that supported the pearl ceilings reflected those deities' power, elegance, and existence. But one by one, they died away, leaving neither trace nor memory for those who remained. Now, this sacred shrine was a silent monument of the forgotten past.

Reaching the end of the hall, Lightning silently knelt down with respect in front of the last goddess. This wasn't necessary, as the goddess couldn't see anyway, but the servant did it anyway.

_Why?_

Because.

_Because._

Lightning almost didn't want to raise her head. The sight before her was beautiful, but it was also sickening to look at it.

(Her heart could shatter)

The crystals – the _cursed _blue crystals were progressing. They have already devoured the goddess' legs and hips, and were slowly advancing up her waist… and she was only gone for a day. Her goddess was almost one with these plagued crystals. These clear, blue minerals that surrounded the goddess spread on the floor and walls like veins; they grew in streaks – branching out into smaller lines. Lightning found the sight to be identical to the centre of a spider's lair. Her goddess was the spider, and the blue crystals were the webs.

Lightning rose from her kneeling position and stepped forward to get closer to the withering deity.

And that deity, that _spider_, who resembled so much of a normal, innocent _human_ girl, raised her head when she felt her approach.

Lightning's hands balled into fists. She tried to subdue her shaking form, but she couldn't stop; the goddess she adored so much was permanently trapped, immobilized.

"Vanille," She called softly.

"…?" Unable to open her eyes, she breathed out softly to comprehend the presence.

"I'm back." Lightning said.

Her eyes wouldn't budge. But even if they opened, those eyes wouldn't see anything. They had long stopped working. Weakly, her arms reached forward, and when her hands came in contact with the person's warm cheeks, a small smile formed on her lips. "F… Fang…?"

Lightning smiled back. Taking hold of the goddess' icy-cold hand, she kept it cupped on her face and answered, "Yes, it's me."

Vanille breathed out again, this time, with joy. "Y-you're… you're here…" Her voice croaked weakly as she spoke. Even speaking proved to be difficult for her now. The energetic voice she used to own no longer existed.

And likewise, the bright colour of her flaming red hair had faded completely. Even her skin tone had gone lifelessly pale and white. This deity, who used to be filled with so many lively colours, was dying. Her life was fading away, day by day, just like the city and its people. It was utterly painful to watch.

Flustered, Lightning bit at the insides of her mouth, tensing the muscles at her jaw.

Vanille felt that. As long as she was touching it with her hands, she would be able to feel it. After all, touch was the only sense left that she could rely on nowadays. "What's… wrong…?" Her weak voice broke the heavy silence.

Lightning exhaled deeply. She was looking at the crystals at her lower body that were draining at Vanille's dear life. Any more of this was going to kill her, and the thought of that brought the servant to tears. "Nothing," She managed. "I got you something while I was out," she said as she took out the flower she picked under the corpses earlier.

"Oh…?" Vanille smiled. "W-what is it…?"

The guardian swallowed the lump down her throat. She couldn't cry. Not now. "A flower," She placed it behind Vanille's ear, setting it in place so that it looked like a hair clip.

The goddess' smile widened. "F-for me…?"

Lightning smiled as well, nodding her answer.

Vanille heaved a heavy sigh – it was a form of laughter, as she couldn't actually _laugh _anymore. "Fang, t-thank you so much."

_Stop it._

If just a simple flower could make this deity so happy, Lightning would gladly bring so much more for her. But the thing was, there was _nothing _left in this dying world. For Vanille especially, there was nothing but pain. Lightning shoved away the thoughts and leaned closer to Vanille's cold palm. "Does it hurt?" She managed to ask without sounding torn apart.

"This…?" Vanille whispered, blindly keeping eye contact with the woman. "It… it doesn't hurt…"

Lightning gripped onto her hand firmer, keeping it snug at her cheek.

_Liar._

It had to hurt. How could _dying _not hurt? It was getting worse by the second, and yet, she was still able to smile like this. Couldn't anyone in this world help her? The goddess was not immortal – that much was clear – she was only a girl.

"I…" Vanille went on, "… I'll be fine, Fang, I have you…" Her fingers combed through what she believed to be _Fang's _soft, raven-hair.

_Please… just stop it._

But it was only Lightning's silky, strawberry-blonde waves.

Vanille giggled. "Your hair's so soft…"

Lightning's heart was straining. "Is it?"

"Mhmm…" She answered. Resting her forehead against what she believed to be Fang's, Vanille continued, "I still remember how you look like, Fang. How you're so beautiful… tall, strong, and always so full of energy…"

_STOP IT._

The servant bit hard on her lower lip. She was on the verge of crying, the tears were already hanging on her waterline.

"Fang…? What's wrong…?"

_Fang, Fang, Fang, FANG. _It was _always always always __always ALWAYS _**FANG **AND NEVER **LIGHTNING**.

"…"

FANG

FANG

FANG

FA—

"_FANG! What are you doing…? STOP IT!" _

_Lightning grabbed the raven-haired woman's wrist, stopping her from swinging her lance. _

"_Let go, Lightning."_

_The strawberry-blonde grimaced. She was sick of this. Sick of her talking like that. Sick of her telling, __**ordering **__her what to do and what not to do. Sick of her being all—_

"—_selfish! You're fucking selfish!" She managed to pull the weapon out of the taller woman's hands this time. _

_Her red lance dropped to the crystal floor with a loud clang. _

"_What are you thinking—"_

"_Shut up, Lightning!" The raven-haired guardian's voice rang in their ears. She glared at the other woman as she spoke louder. "She's in pain, why can't you see that!"_

_Lightning gritted her teeth. "And that's why you're going to kill her? Are you insane?"_

"_She's in pain, Lightning, what do you expect me to do? Watch her suffer? As if it were entertaining?" In a flash, Fang got to her lance and she swiftly stood to strike down at the girl—_

_Every single muscle in Lightning's body reacted to this. She summoned her gunblade and stood in front of the girl, blocking the blow from Fang just in time. "Stop! Fang, stop it!" _

"_Get out of the way!"_

"_Don't kill her!"_

"_I'm __**helping **__her!"_

_Maybe she was naïve, maybe she was immature, maybe she was just as insane, but she knew that this wasn't __**helping**__. _

_Lightning was begging now, "Please, don't kill her!"_

"_Out of my way!" Fang withdrew her weapon in an instant and quickly struck at the strawberry-blonde's waist, the blow sending the younger guardian off a few metres. _

_Lightning groaned as she was thrown to the side. When she tried to stand up to fight back, she heard a few ribs crack and she fell to the ground, coughing up blood at the same time. "Fang… don't…!"_

"_So naïve, Lightning." Fang said with melancholy. "I just can't stand looking at her." She turned back to Vanille. And what do you know? The poor goddess was far too weak to even notice all the violence. _

_The pink-haired guardian gathered her strength to crawl to Fang. She had to stop her – she couldn't let anything happen to Vanille—_

_Fang's hand cupped the young goddess' cheek. Her lips arched into a non-threatening smile, but she was crying. Fang was crying. "I'm sorry Vanille," She gripped onto her lance, "But I can't stand looking at you. I want to kill you." She raised her weapon, "I want to free y—"_

_Splat._

"…_!"_

_Lightning thrust her silver gunblade deeper, impaling the older guardian's chest even more as blood splattered onto the crystal floor, colouring the blueness in crimson._

"_D-don't…" Lightning panted heavily, "… don't hurt Vanille…"_

_Fang had enough strength to turn her head slightly, just to meet the desperate gaze of the young guardian's._

"_You're so stubborn…" She muttered._

_Lightning ignored her rude comment and repeated weakly, "Don't hurt Vanille…"_

_And Fang fell to the ground. _

_Lightning reacted instantly. She let go of her weapon and allowed it to vanish into thin air in bright, pink sparks. It left Fang with a bloody hole in the middle of her chest, but she had more important things to worry about. _

_Running to the goddess, Lightning held her firmly with one hand as her other one applied pressure to the wound that Fang left her earlier._

_Fang cringed. She could see everything, and she found it to be depressing. The way the young guardian was holding Vanille…_

"_You idiot…" Lightning mumbled quietly, "we're supposed to protect the goddess. We're her guardians…" _

_She took a deep breath, as painful as it was. Fang couldn't watch, "This isn't a matter of protecting," but she couldn't stop looking. "Vanille is going to die either way. I just want to end her suffering. I want to help her—"_

"_Shut up!" Lightning spat. She was shaking, but was holding Vanille even closer. _

_Fang blinked slowly, and then she smiled again._

_Lightning's azure orbs were piercing dangerously into her soul. It was like… if she said anything else, the young guardian would put her to death, quicker than she was approaching it._

_Smirking, Fang couldn't deny the realization – Lightning loved Vanille. "Hn," _

_But she didn't care. _

"… _who's the selfish one now?"_

_Lightning's eyes sharpened. "I'm not selfish!"_

_No, I'm not. I'm not selfish._

_I'm not selfish._

_I'm not selfish._

I'm not selfish.

"Am I… being s-s…?"

Vanille shook a little. Her eyebrows arched inward. "Hm?"

Lightning forced herself to straighten up. "Nothing, it's nothing."

Took a moment, but the goddess was smiling again. "Fang…" Cold hands caressed her guardian's cheeks, drawing her gaze towards herself, "Please smile more."

She blinked. "I… I'm smiling, Vanille. I'm smiling when you're here."

The girl shook her head. "No, you're sad when I'm with you."

Lightning bit at her lip. She had been fighting back those tears for the longest time now, and they were threatening to spill out of her eyes. "I'm not."

The withering goddess chuckled. "Then why," Her delicate fingers grazed the side of Lightning's eye, making the woman blink, and a tear instantly dropped its resolve and rolled down her cheek. "… Why are you crying?"

Lightning shook her head weakly.

Vanille wiped away the tears that kept on coming. "Don't cry…"

The woman breathed out shakily. "Mm," She mumbled as she tried to regain herself. "I won't."

Vanille smiled and embraced her guardian, holding her near with all the adoration she could muster as the latter did the same.

The two remained that way for the longest time. Neither felt time's passing, nor did they feel the need to let go, but it was once again Vanille who decided to speak up first.

"Fang…"

"Hmm?"

Her arms trembled around her guardian's neck. She was hesitating. "It's… it's okay now, right?"

The woman's eyes widened in shock. She pulled away to look at Vanille. "What…"

The goddess was still smiling. She was still smiling that _painful _smile. "I'm… really tired…" Even her voice pronounced the pain, "And i-it hurts so much… I just can't…"

Her voice was soft, but it was screaming in pain. The pinkette shook her head, denying that. "No… Vanille, you're fine… you're not—"

"Lightning."

She gasped. Her heart stopped.

"D-do you… do you know where she is…?"

This feeling again – her heart, straining.

"Fang…?"

"She's…" The guardian began, "… not here right now, but she'll be back."

Vanille exhaled. "Ah… then… can you tell her for me…? I'm afraid it's…it's too late for myself to t-tell her…"

Lightning looked up.

"… to be happy. To be happier. She's always so sad."

Her arms tightened around the goddess.

Vanille breathed out. "Lightning is a good girl. I-I don't want her to be sad. I don't want any of you to be sad."

She held onto the goddess tighter, almost as if afraid that she would run or away. "No… please, Vanille, don't leave me—" On any other occasion, she would feel pathetic for begging like this, but no, not this time. She would die for this. "I don't want to be alone—"

Vanille stroked the back of her guardian's head, comforting her. "I can't stay… I can no longer help the people of this world,"

_The people of this world. Humans. _These words made her sick.

"It's all their fault…" Lightning muttered angrily. "It's all their fault that you're—!"

"No, Fang," Vanille replied gently. "It's no one's fault. I chose to help them, because everything with life deserves a chance."

"But that does not mean you have to be the one to give them their chance! Vanille, sickness and death comes to everyone eventually, you can't change fate!"

"I know," Vanille said calmly, still stroking the back of the strawberry-blonde's head, "I know. Sickness and death comes to everyone eventually, you can't change fate." She repeated. "But aren't you trying to change fate right now?"

Frustrated, Lightning shook her head. "This is different…!" She clenched her teeth, "I… I don't want you to die…!"

The goddess smiled once more. "And I don't want the people of this world to die."

Whether from anger or sadness, tears were streaming endlessly down Lightning's cheeks. "They don't deserve your love…!" She choked, "Those filthy creatures take you for granted, they're disgusting—"

"Fang." Vanille called warmly. She slouched forward, as if she had completely run out of strength. "All living things become desperate when they know their time is ending."

Lightning's eyes widened with horror. "No…" She spoke. Looking down, she could see the blue crystals advancing upwards, consuming the goddess' weak body. Lightning didn't know what to do. "No, Vanille," Her voice raised with concern, "Nothing's ending!"

She did her best to sound happy, but she had no strength left. Even breathing had suddenly become twice as difficult. "Nothing lasts forever."

_No._

The pink-haired guardian refused to believe that this was happening. "I want to be by your side forever." Her embrace tightened. "I want to watch over you, like how I've always been… so please… don't go…"

Vanille withdrew her arms and gently pushed her guardian away, enough so that their faces were a few inches apart. "The world has much more for you to watch over."

"Vanille…"

"Please tell Lightning not to hate them as well," The goddess smiled as the crystals continued to advance upwards – they were crawling up her neck by now. "Look after them in my stead, okay?"

"I…" She had so much more to say, but words were not coming to her, and she only had so much time to think. "Vanille…"

"Promise me?"

Lightning bit at her lips.

Vanille's smile emitted light.

"…"

… How could she ever say no to that? How could she refuse her goddess? How could she say no to such an innocent _girl_…?

"I-I… I promise…"

A sigh escaped the crystallizing goddess' lips. It sounded like a breath of joy.

And that prompted Lightning to say it again, with confidence, just like how she always spoke.

"I promise you, I'll look after them. I'll tell Lightning as well," She said clearly, "So, please… Vanille, don't forget about me."

**.**

**.**

**Yes, she recognized that look.**

"…"

(A splitting image)

The little redhead's smile widened. She took a flower from the bunch she just picked and handed it to the woman.

Lightning blinked.

Her smile turned into a grin as she pushed the flower closer to the pinkette.

Before she could control it, Lightning's vocal chords spoke. "… For me?"

Her hand still held up, the child nodded gingerly. "Mm!"

Hesitant at first, she took the small gift out of the little redhead's petite hands. "Why?"

She simply grinned wider.

Lightning's azure orbs were on the yellow flower, but they darted away briefly to meet the girl's orbs. "What are you doing out here, all by yourself?"

The woman's gentle voice encouraged the girl to speak more. She was simply _happy_ that the adult responded. "No, no, onee-san, I'm not by myself." She pointed behind herself at the bodies. "Mommy and daddy are over there, they are sleeping. My brothers and sisters are there as well." Then, the child pressed a finger against her lips, "But shh! Don't be too loud!" Her voice lowered to a whisper, "They don't like it when I wake them up!"

Glancing briefly over to the pile of corpses, Lightning realized that their flesh and skin were decaying. But of course, this girl obviously did not know what any of that meant.

"Onee-san?"

Her young voice caught the adult's attention once more. Lightning looked back to her.

"Onee-san seems like she's lost…"

_Lost?_

"Is onee-san looking for her mommy and daddy? Or her friends? "

Lightning blinked at the child.

_Friends?_

The girl reached up, her tiny hand held onto the woman's long fingers. She grinned and continued, "I can help you! If you tell me how they look like, we can look for them together!"

Lightning stayed still.

**She was exactly the same**.

Bubbly, happy, cheerful, enthusiastic, _helpful._

"Why…"

The child blinked. "Hmm?"

She knelt down slowly, meeting the girl at eye-level and started gently, "Why are you helping me?"

She blinked those sparkling emerald eyes again, curious. "Because onee-san looks sad, and I want to help her!"

_Oh?_

Lightning didn't realize that. Yeah, she was sad, but when everyone was still around, they always told her that her expressions were unreadable. It was near impossible to know what she was thinking or feeling.

"But I don't know where… or _who_ my friends are anymore." She replied with a quiet voice, speaking quiet literally.

The girl giggled, her laughter rich with warmth. "Then I'll be your friend! I'll be your new friend, starting now!"

Lightning looked up.

"_The world has much more for you to watch over."_

"…"

Lightning placed her hand on the child's bright, orange hair and smiled warmly. "You want to be friends with me?"

The little girl nodded with utmost enthusiasm. "Un! Un! I want to be friends with onee-san!"

The woman chuckled. She withdrew her hand from the redhead and reached out again, "My name is Lightning. What is yours?"

She grinned. Her pigtails bounced gingerly as she took the strawberry-blonde's larger hand with both of her tiny ones. Her smile was as bright as her red hair. "Um…! Um…!" She was so happy, so overjoyed, she couldn't stop stammering. Emerald met azure, earth met sky – their eyes clashed.

"I'm…!"

* * *

**End.**

* * *

**Thank you for reading!  
Please review :)**


End file.
